Living in Japan, not surprisingly I sometimes need to communicate in Japanese. The other day, I had to pay a bill for a business matter. However, the business matter had changed from what was agreed and it wasn’t favourable for our needs. I had to decide whether to continue with the change or come up with an alternative agreement.
The person dealing with me was very considerate in his Japanese words (簡単日本語 -simple Japanese), and he also used some English words to help me understand. I thought he was very helpful and I understood what he was saying so there was no problem, right? Well, even though I explained that I understood what was said, it didn’t change the problem with the alternative offer.
I understood the conversation, didn’t like the offered alternative and didn’t want to decide without thinking it through or talking to Masami about it. I said I would talk about it with my wife and get back to him, I thought we had finished the exchange for the time being. Nope.
He tried to continue to explain the alternative in simpler words and apologised for his poor English! He again used the English he knew and hand gestures to help explain. I in return apologised for my poor Japanese and again said I will talk to Masami about it and get back to him.
I understand but I don’t like it
The problem wasn’t the communication, it was the change in agreement and an unsatisfactory alternative offer. I am not going to accept something inferior to what was agreed upon without the choice of saying, “no thank you.”, or considering an alternative.
I would say the man was helpful and communicated his side very well, nevertheless, he didn’t quite understand my side. Maybe it was the choice of my words, maybe it wasn’t the answer he expected, or maybe he wanted me to accept the change without thinking.
An alternative was agreed upon in the end and the conclusion to the business matter was much better for everyone involved!
Try again, and again, then give up
When you want to explain something to someone and they don’t understand, it’s natural to explain it differently; using simpler words, a step-by-step explanation, analogies, and even drawings! They may understand your words but not understand your meaning. If that’s the case, I think it is better to know when to give up and move on.
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